I have had my car for almost 3 years. I always loved my ability to go hands free, with my phone. However, I find it interesting how my phone and my car have difficulty communicating. It should be as simple as turning on the blue tooth and then connecting the device with my car, but not so much it seems. In the beginning of their relationship, they never had this communication dilemma. I would turn on car and chat away. I can’t pinpoint the date of the breakdown, a year ago? two years? I’m just not sure. Now, I get in my car and turn on the ignition and I am whined at almost immediately with the words “paring failed!” I stop what I am doing and reintroduce the two. My phone and car will then communicate for a day or so, but then their relationship hits the rocks again.

I have patiently tried again to get the two together to foster communicate. As a Libra, I am a natural mediator of sorts, so this makes sense. I talked softly in a low calm voice to both of them (phone and car). I use device focused language and techniques that increased affection, closeness with hopes to resolve conflict. I attempted to build a love map between the two and even tried to find positive psychology emotions, but to be honest I’m not sure if I was searching for me or my car and phone. Let’s just say it was for us. I even employed some spiritual and behavioral techniques, some might say jumping up and down screaming “Hey-zeus Krist!” has zero therapeutical value, but I beg to differ. I felt much better after my…our “session”.

I have pulled over countless times to fix, work, struggle, stress, and toil over the relationship between my car/ my phone. I have finally reached the point in my therapist/social worker’s life where I realize that I’m working much harder than my devices. I decided to do one last thing and it’s  considered a pretty drastic technique to save the relationship between my devices. I decided to bring in a surrogate to see if my car could perhaps pair with another phone. And all seemed to go well until it didn’t. So, now I am convinced that my car might be a player or a swinger. I totally understand though, my car is a new model and it most likely doesn’t want to settle down with just one phone yet. My other theory, which I’m leaning more towards, is perhaps my car is behaving like a judgmental relative and just likes to passively aggressively remind me several times a day of my marital status.

Presently, our threesome is in complete relationship breakdown. I don’t even attempt to foster or coerce any more communication between the two. I, now, yell back at my car. The reminders of the relationship breakdown are just redundant, unnecessary, and un-therapeutic to be perfectly honest. I do understand these verbal exchanges sometimes confuse Ella and she asks, “Are you talking to me?” I am always quick to respond, “No, don’t be ridiculous! I’m talking to the car.” I am not sure you all would understand this, but telling my car car to shut the hell up, is surprisingly satisfying and my daughter’s college/therapy fund is growing to be used for whatever she feels she needs more.