Life is Short, But VD Can Be Everlasting

This weekend is the Thanksgiving of LOVE. Instead of arguing against indulging, I will do the opposite. I urge you all to fill yourselves to the gills. I want your neighbors to smell “sex and candy” from across your yard. I want you to gorge until you can’t move, walk, or think. “Just Do It” as Nike says, and then  do it again. Don’t over think Valentine’s Day, but do think about VD…it’s the responsible thing to do. Life is short. Being alone is just that. Buy those flowers, candies, rings, or chocolates. Walk or run to that other someone who you choose to tolerate, I mean LOVE. Don’t spend one second hating the commercialism that we wade through on every single holiday… not this one. This is about LOVE folks. Spending your life regretting what you should have done is just empty heartbreak. I want you all to gain LOVE weight this weekend, it will look good on you. I want you to treat LOVE like turkey and mashed potatoes and eat like you have never eaten before. I want you to have a LOVE induced coma and hangover at that same time. If you act on these impulse and immediately regret it, it’s fine. You can blame me for inciting this thing called lust, I mean LOVE. This is the only holiday that makes me think about trading in my LOVE of the color grey for red, perhaps a new natural hair color is in order. I will live vicariously through all you out there willing to give LOVE a go this weekend. I, not only, will be sending you all positive LOVE energy, but will also be studying the LOVE horoscopes, as this is mandatory to make this holiday complete. I look forward to be filled in on your adventures. On second thought, no thanks. I have seen the aftermath of Thanksgiving dinner and the clean up can fifty shades of terrifying.

7 thoughts on “Life is Short, But VD Can Be Everlasting

  1. Have you ever thought to send your words of wisdom to the paper. I could see many folks following your stories in the Oregonian each week.. May be you may think about it. Just a thought with your talent. Have a great day My friend… Happy Valentines day to you I heart you!


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